The Unspoken Phenomenon of Break-Up Season
“People have to go home. It’s about to be summertime, and the streets are calling.” - an anonymous quote from a friend after I read her the first draft title of this blog, “Break Up Season Has to End”.
According to this post that circulates the Daquan Instagram account every year:
Break-up season is upon us. This combined check-list and timeline indirectly state that the period from February 15th to roughly the beginning of the school year is the prime time to be single. People appear to prefer headstarts to singledom by breaking up with their significant others rather close to the end of February. For example, the relationships of three people that I’m friends with have ended since February 15th. Let’s do some quick math. Off the top of my head, before Valentine’s Day, I could name about nine of my friends in relationships. That’s a third of the couples I know . . . done. It’s kind of alarming. Let’s also not forget, every five TikToks I’ve seen recently involve a girl being sad about breaking up with her boyfriend. I’m a little concerned for myself.
I’m like a little kid scratching at a mosquito bite when their parents tell them not to. For several weeks I’ve been asking my boyfriend different versions of this same question: “Do you still like me? It’s okay if you don’t but I’d rather you tell me up-front so I’m not blindsided”. In fact, I asked him this on our six-month anniversary a week or so ago. Every time I ask, he reassures me that his feelings haven’t changed. I am nervously itching at the idea that my relationship’s expiration date is near, but luckily said boyfriend has been relentlessly swatting my hand.
Also, I’m not trying to flex that I have a boyfriend in this post because they aren’t always all that. Mine is allergic to peanut butter, and he told me a few weeks ago that I look like I play the tuba. That’s the meanest thing anyone has said to me in while. Maybe if he didn’t say things like that, I wouldn’t interrogate his feelings about me so much . . .
Anyways enough about me, I want to briefly explore this phenomenon. Why is the springtime break-up season?
I have a few ideas on what it might be. I don’t want to go full essay on you guys, so my explanations are going to be short & sweet.
Fall and winter holidays are extremely romanticized, and since Valentine’s marks the last of them, people start to remove the “rose-tinted glasses” about their significant other during the change of seasons.
With couple’s costumes, meeting the family, gift-giving, gift-receiving, cuddling being the perfect past time in freezing weather, ringing in the new year, and Walgreens putting out chocolate & teddy bears, everyone is in a romantic mood! Think about this next thing. There are no romantic holidays from March to September. There are no festivities in those months that couples just have to celebrate together. People start thinking about short-term, individual events after Valentine’s day, such as spring break, the end of school, and summer plans. They realize how “unnecessary” a boyfriend/girlfriend is during this period. They don’t need warmth anymore, it’s hot outside! They don’t have to answer the “Are you still single?” question for a while. They don’t actually need a significant other for about seven months. What happens when these realizations are made? People break up.
People can no longer handle the aftermath of the honeymoon phase due to our generation’s deteriorating attention span and hookup culture.
I can’t even watch the shows that my mother recommends anymore, because I don’t have the patience to wait and see what unfolds. This lack, dare I say inability, of focus is a direct result of the instant gratification that we are experiencing every day via the Internet/social media. Our fast-paced environment has ruined the art of learning how to appreciate and enjoy things for long periods of time, especially when it’s hard. [A prime example of this is how quickly fashion cycles are going right now, but I’m going to leave that alone.] Anyways, people no longer have the will to sit in a relationship once the honeymoon phase that winter brings is over.
Hookup culture allows us to feed into this generational desire of instant gratification. Do you want a quick fix to your loneliness? Get a Tinder/Bumble, DM someone on social media, or even Snapchat that person that sits beside you in class. The idea of hookup culture is that things can be casual. No strings attached. So when someone wants attention, it’s the fastest solution. Casual anything is better than nothing???? Right?????? [If you can’t tell by the number of question marks that is, it’s an emphatic “H, E, double hockey sticks” no from me.] Even people who don’t actively participate in hookup culture are still affected by it, due to its massive influence on the way we date.
Finally, I think the biblical characterization of spring is more prevalent in our lives than we give it credit for.
Consider this verse for me: “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” - II Corinthians 5:17. Fresh starts, new beginnings, and growth (through Christ) are common messages throughout the Bible. There is also a great deal of the Bible that’s poetry, and if you know anything about poets, symbols are important. Spring is a symbol of newness in bible. In the Song of Solomon 2:11-13, it reads: “See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit; blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me.” People are constantly trying to become better versions of themselves, and what better time to do it than spring, when nature itself is blossoming? How can we blossom when still holding on to something old? I think this can translate to the moods of our generation when moving into spring.
“Taylor. . . are you sure you’re not trying to break up with your boyfriend?”
Absolutely not. I am in so deep that the other day I saw a photoshoot of Jack Harlow, my celebrity crush of a year & a half, and I wasn’t even phased. I’ve told him this next thing before, but he’s like a peanut butter & jelly sandwich to me. No matter when, where, or how I’m feeling, a peanut butter & jelly sandwich is the best thing to have. He’s honestly a little better since he’s not temporary. Plus, he is kind of amazing at helping me carry my groceries upstairs to my apartment. Why in the world would I want to give that up?
Thank you for reading, it means a lot to me! See you next Sunday!
Rose-tinted glasses: This is a phrase/quote from the Bojack Horseman show. If you watched it, what was your favorite episode? Mine is when Bojack went to some film festival underwater and didn’t speak for the entire twenty-ish minutes of the episode. It was peaceful not being drowned in Bojack’s self-hatred for a while.
